Weekend Winddown

Dear Ananya,

Dear Ananya,

I’ve been with my current boyfriend for almost 3 years. He caught herpes from me. I really didn’t think I was contagious at the time but I should have been more careful. We spent a lot of time and energy working through problems in our relationship after he got the disease.

What would be the reasons to tell your partner/parents that you have genital herpes or HPV? It seems it would be easier to talk about the reasons not to tell them. I consistently hear the phrases I was too embarrassed to tell my partner or my parents, they would not understand, they would think I was stupid and irresponsible for getting it, I should have known better. The truth is no one got out of bed this morning and said “I’m going out and getting a genital virus today”, the truth is thousands of people every day are finding out that is exactly what happened. So the need for sharing that truth with someone is a must. That someone should be your parents or your partner. Of course this is not easy and maybe a good starting place is Weekend Winddown. The people here have personal experience on both sides of this fence, having to tell and having to be told. What I have found is the anxiety of thinking about it is worse than actually doing it. The fact is if you have it then your partner probably does also. They may not know it yet so get it out in the open and go see your doctor. If your parents are not supportive then I would ask you to have them contact me. As a parent of children who got genital herpes I am well versed in how to handle it. Bottom line is you are not dirty or irresponsible or alone, get online and let’s talk about it.

WW was created to be a gathering place/home/safe haven for people with genital herpes or HPV. It is a place for people from every walk of life to come and be able to talk with people who know what they are going through, what it is like to have these conditions and be there for each other and every person on the site. Every person I have talked with who has been told by a doctor that they have a genital virus has felt outcast, down trodden, alone and even dirty. They do not know what to do or who to talk with. The goal of WW is to have a place everyone can go to and feel at home, get information from others, pass on their own experiences, find hope, friendship and even love. The concept behind this site was simple, if you love football you don’t go to a baseball place and talk football, you go to a football place. If you have a genital virus you go to WW and talk life with herpes or HPV.