Weekend Winddown

Dear Ananya,

I was talking with one of my associates this weekend and the subject of telling your partner or friend or potential date that you have genital herpes came up again.  He brought up how easy it is just let it stay in the back ground and not talk about it.  It was also discussed that some folks my not know they have it and pass it on without knowing it.  He still feels that people judge harshly those who have it.  This whole conversation brought back the main reason for Weekend Winddown, why it has been brought into existence.  So that people can talk with people who not only understand but have the condition or are intimate with someone who has the condition.  Bottom line is people who matter to you need to know you have it.  There is no reason to keep it hidden any longer, I am sure this is a conversation that will be had many time over the next few years.

This was written by a friend of a friend and I have edited names out but otherwise left the content intact.  I am looking forward to many more stories like this one as people realize this is the right answer.

Hi Court,

I wanted to pass on my opinion on a story I read this past week.

I wanted to pass on an e-mail that I had recieved from a young women in our countries service, I have left her name off the post but I am sure you will see her profile on the site soon.  The following is word for word what she said to me.

Dear Ananya,

I’ve been with my current boyfriend for almost 3 years. He caught herpes from me. I really didn’t think I was contagious at the time but I should have been more careful. We spent a lot of time and energy working through problems in our relationship after he got the disease.

As a father of two daughters with genital herpes I cannot stress how important it is for there to be someone to talk with.  It is a way for them feel re-connected with the world, feel like they are not alone or out casts.  At first I wanted to blame the girls for not being responsable, but after doing a little reserch on the subject and talking with the doctor about it I soon relized that I was the one who was not being understanding, I was the one doing the blaming and not listening.  This condition can and will happen to anyone at anytime and the more you as a person understands it the better off  you as a  parent and your children will be.  Look the facts up on the net, 1 in 3 sexual active folks under the age of 25 have it.  This means look around you in a store and 1 in 3 of those folks have genital herpes and that number will only go up. All I ask is for people to take the time to educate themselves and be understanding.

Dear Ananya,

What would be the reasons to tell your partner/parents that you have genital herpes or HPV? It seems it would be easier to talk about the reasons not to tell them. I consistently hear the phrases I was too embarrassed to tell my partner or my parents, they would not understand, they would think I was stupid and irresponsible for getting it, I should have known better. The truth is no one got out of bed this morning and said “I’m going out and getting a genital virus today”, the truth is thousands of people every day are finding out that is exactly what happened. So the need for sharing that truth with someone is a must. That someone should be your parents or your partner. Of course this is not easy and maybe a good starting place is Weekend Winddown. The people here have personal experience on both sides of this fence, having to tell and having to be told. What I have found is the anxiety of thinking about it is worse than actually doing it. The fact is if you have it then your partner probably does also. They may not know it yet so get it out in the open and go see your doctor. If your parents are not supportive then I would ask you to have them contact me. As a parent of children who got genital herpes I am well versed in how to handle it. Bottom line is you are not dirty or irresponsible or alone, get online and let’s talk about it.

WW was created to be a gathering place/home/safe haven for people with genital herpes or HPV. It is a place for people from every walk of life to come and be able to talk with people who know what they are going through, what it is like to have these conditions and be there for each other and every person on the site. Every person I have talked with who has been told by a doctor that they have a genital virus has felt outcast, down trodden, alone and even dirty. They do not know what to do or who to talk with. The goal of WW is to have a place everyone can go to and feel at home, get information from others, pass on their own experiences, find hope, friendship and even love. The concept behind this site was simple, if you love football you don’t go to a baseball place and talk football, you go to a football place. If you have a genital virus you go to WW and talk life with herpes or HPV.